My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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