If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize