I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize