True but thats because hes a fetus.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
