Fuck appropriateness.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
