Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
