i think i have herpe
just one?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
