I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
