Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
