Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
