Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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