You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love having hate sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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