I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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