And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
