i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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