You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
