So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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