Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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