i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize