let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
