just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
