Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
