he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
