Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
