Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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