I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
