An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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