Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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