Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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