Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
