Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize