The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
