I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
