youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
