Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize