I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
