I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
