So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
