Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
