D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
