I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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