We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
