is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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