she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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