i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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