i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
