Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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