I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
