we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
