Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
