she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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