Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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