covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
