I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
