just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
