Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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