your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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