quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
