i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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