White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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