I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Houston, we have a blender
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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