I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
