Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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(613): View more from Ontario

what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?

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(845): View more from New York

Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial

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(773): View more from Illinois

If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.

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