Banned from zoo.
Again?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
